Archive for the ‘Musings’ Category

Divine Wisdom

Friday, December 31st, 2010

It has occurred to me that ascribing a “gender” to the Divine within us may lead us to choose or separate the two types of divine energy within each of us. Just the idea of feminine or masculine evokes emotions in many people. I think what we want is to merge and balance these energies.

When I started practicing qigong it was because I was ill. I had no thoughts of the types of energy within my being physically, mentally or spiritually. I healed my physical body and as I did my emotional body healed and my spiritual being showed itself to me. My connection to God or Source became understood in a wordless way that my mind could not have conceived of.

I can talk in the ways of many others but it doesn’t really explain what I came to know when I began to listen to my heart. I can use other people’s words, but words diminish what actually happened.

At some point in my healing process I began to “feel” that I was loved and cared for by a force that is much larger than anything on this earth. I began to ‘feel’ the energy of the Universe and with it was a consciousness that didn’t come from my brain. Messages came; simple, filled with unconditional love, few words but connected to a huge bubble of understanding that is wordless. This new quiet but powerful loving voice is the voice of my heart connection to the divine source of “all that is”.

Prior to this my primary “voice” was the voice of my left brain which was not always full of love and more often than not wanted me to do something or behave a certain way in order to “take care of myself”. It told me I was separate from all other beings and that I had to watch out for myself. Oh, I loved others but I didn’t really have a true concept of pure unconditional love. I thought I did but it was really always conditional because if someone or something didn’t behave in a way my mind wanted it to I was hurt and then needed to “protect” myself.

This new beautiful loving voice came quietly but clearly. It never had judgment or a need for action. It simply told me a truth. A truth that I actually felt with my entire being! But the left brain mind who had control before would say “what?” And then I’d calm that piece of me down and say, “of course!” And so I was introduced to another part of me that had not been heard this clearly for a long long time. I felt an instant oneness with this Voice, I now feel it is the voice of God. In truth the voice isn’t the important part so much as the “understanding” that is wordless that comes with it. The words are only for the other part of me that works with ideas and words and stories.

And so in my understanding there are two parts in each of us. Both are connected to the Universe and what we know as God. One is quiet, passive and requires nothing of us except to allow and receive love, joy and peace. It brings us to a state of oneness with every other being that exists and thus creates compassion. It can tell you things you’ve never learned in this lifetime, not in words but you will understand. This part allows us to fully be in the present moment or just “BE”, observe. It lets us know that all is as it should be and all is well. With this part of us there is no past or future there is only the present. This part I feel, is my heart connection.

The other part is the part that “does”, it is active. It’s important because without it we would be able to do nothing really, in this physical existence, except just be. It gives us confidence to act. When well balanced with the other receiving part of us, the doing part can help us take the information given by the heart connection and use it to help others, create and interact with everything. It helps us put words and actions to what we receive with the heart energy so that we can share our love in many ways with others.

If the passive and active parts are not in balance we are not in balance. We can’t find the unconditional joy, peace and love that are in each one of us and use it to live in the world and be a light to others and see the light in others. Like Yin and Yang these divine aspects of our self must be balanced in order to understand who we are and what we are. When we understand there is no limit to our love and what we can do with it.

Spring Forest Qigong has been my springboard to find out who I am and what I am. I understand I am light and love and filled with joy, peace and compassion. I may know a little about a lot of things but I have access to everything!
With this wisdom I am powerful.
With this understanding fear evaporates, it is not needed.
There is only light.
Darkness is only a shadow that when given illumination disappears, therefore it does not truly exist.

Where attention goes, energy flows

Monday, May 31st, 2010

When I was not well I focused on helping myself and others. This is how I did it. I researched medical articles. I watched TV that focused on sickness: hospital shows, doctor shows, documentaries on health, etc. I learned all I could about what was wrong with the world that could make us ill and I shared this information with others to help them avoid possible problems. I watched the news to make sure I knew what the latest threat was to my health and safety so I could be safe and not do something to make myself sicker. I learned all I could about my own symptoms and then read many articles to find out what the problem was so I could get well. I joined groups of people who were sick like me so I could talk to them and share stories on how sick we all were. I focused on my food, the air I breathed and the weather as possible sources of my illness. I got sicker and sicker and sicker until I nearly died.

I found qigong. I began to practice qigong and I felt better. I felt better inside, outside and in-between. I no longer wanted to watch the news. I didn’t feel good when I did, it made me feel scared and helpless inside. I had no more interest in TV shows regarding health or doctors or the health of the world. I began to focus on what was right in the world. I began to look for the beautiful things in my life to think about and to talk to others about. I no longer researched anything regarding health, food, safety, etc. because it seemed to all make my body not feel good. I’d had a taste of feeling good and I no longer wished to make my body afraid of the world. I went back to tell the people in the groups I had been in about my new-found health but they weren’t interested. They just wanted to talk about their symptoms and how bad the world is and how no one cares. I rejoiced in breathing the air, walking in the sun, enjoying the rain and even in the pain that my body had while it was regenerating. I got healthier, and healthier and happier and happier until I found complete joy!

I now focus on light and love and how beautiful the world is inside, outside and in-between. As I do this I find more love, joy and peace in myself, in others and in the world. How beautiful life is! Some people struggle. I send them love to help them to see that all the joy, peace and love that we need are within us. If we have no conflict inside there is no conflict outside. Life is great and gets better every day!

If you find less than this in your world maybe you should notice what you do. What types of books do you read? What kinds of movies or TV do you watch? What articles do you notice and give your attention to? What kinds of information are you excited to share with others? Is the information you focus on filled with love or fear? What do you wish for in your life? Is your attention focused in the direction of your wishes or is it focused on what you are afraid of?

We only need to look to ourselves to see what we are creating in our life and our bodies. If we focus on what we want rather than what we do not want our life can be changed in many ways we never imagined.

Blessings to you all!

Happy New Year

Thursday, January 7th, 2010

I’ve been told by a wonderful Chinese man I know that it is good to go outside at midnight on New Years Eve and see what you can see. Of course his New Year is different than ours in the US but I do live here and I’m not Chinese!

I was taking care of my granddaughters that night so my son and his wife could have a night out. They were settled down and just at midnight, after giving Rich a kiss for the new year, I dressed myself warmly and went out for a moonwalk.

It was a beautiful night. We had a full moon and a blue moon at that and I heard there was about to be an eclipse of the moon in the very early AM. It was cold, very cold! I could hear the distant celebrations, fireworks (and a few not-so-distant ones too). The clouds parted so I could view the beautiful full moon which warmed my heart.

Suddenly the wild turkeys began to gobble and cluck from the trees. They seemed to be laughing and celebrating the coming of the new year! It echoed off the barns in the front and seemed to come from all over. I smiled and felt in my heart that this was going to be a very good year indeed!

I tried to walk to see the turkeys but they made no sound until I was back near the house again. As they resumed their joyous chorus I felt more than ever that the beautiful message of “prosperity” was certainly what I was receiving. Prosperity is about abundance in all the wonderful things life has to offer, emotionally, physically and spiritually.

As I felt the feelings of what is to come in the new year my chimes on the maple in the back yard began singing softly the sweetest song imaginable as if it were being played by love itself.

Many blessings to all of you in the new year, may peace, joy, love and prosperity be in you and all around you, always.

Where are the gulls going?

Tuesday, November 10th, 2009

Every night they fly to the east, the north east as a matter of fact. Every morning they fly to the west, the south west. Why? I pondered this as I walked this evening, hundreds, perhaps thousands of gulls flying overhead in long undulating streams.
The sun was going down and they seemed intent on their purpose, as if wanting to get “there” before the sun went down completely. Where is “there”? img_0361
Wherever “there” is, they seem to be flying right out of the sun as it sets and it’s a beautiful sight to see.

So I asked the gulls, in my mind. I waited. I got a simple answer. “We go to where the sun will rise, so we are the first to see it when it rises, and we then fly to where the sun will set so we are the last to see it when it sets.”

I smiled. Of course! It’s so simple.


Sunday, October 4th, 2009

Three years ago we had a bad storm in late summer. That storm crushed our entire garden. There was virtually nothing left. The melons, peppers, cucumbers, were gone, smashed. The Tomatoes had a few lingering fruits on the vine but were for the most part decimated. We had never lost all of our winter squash before but they were gone, broken open and not fit to eat.

I felt bad but understood that it was what it was. It was a hard year for the garden. We went on our first vacation since our honeymoon and while we were gone it was hot and dry. We came back and the garden was still alive but many of the crops were stunted and misshapen from the drought. The storm I speak of that year was the end of that drought. I had no choice but to simply accept that this was the way it was supposed to be and thank God that our home and animals were safe and sound.

I went to work the next day and my husband called me and said something strange was up. He was fixing the fence, since some trees had messed it up from the storm. He said there was a wild turkey out there and it didn’t seem to be afraid of him, it just stood around. Now, we have a lot of wild turkeys and I thought this was strange indeed since they seem to be pretty shy. When I got home I went out to see this ‘turkey’ and I gasped! It was a peahen, for those of you who don’t know, it’s a female peacock. No one around us had peacocks?!? We’d surely hear them as they are very loud. Where did it come from? I just kept having the word Phoenix come into my mind and I knew that the Phoenix was based on a peacock. I looked it up to see if I was right and yes, in fact the female peahen is thought to be the protective form of the Phoenix.

Phoenix has lived with us ever since. Every year she has gone off to ‘hatch’ some eggs. Of course, there is no male so no babies but she disappears for a while. She usually does this in mid-summer. The first time I thought the fox had taken her, but she came back in a few weeks.

This year she laid her eggs all over the place and didn’t hide. So when she left several weeks ago I again thought, well, perhaps she has moved on in this circle of life to go do something else. After all, she has never been ‘ours’, (of course what animal who takes up residence with us is ever ‘ours’?) There hasn’t been a peep out of her. Usually when she is sitting she eventually comes out with loud calls letting us know that she is still around.

So, I figured she might be gone even though somewhere in me I felt she was still around here. I accepted whatever was to be and said a little prayer, yesterday, that if she is still with us, could I please know in some way.

Today, when Rich did his morning chores I walked out there and there she was. She was getting something to eat, very quickly, so she could return to her nest very soon. She did not make a sound but rushed to and fro filling her crop.

I smiled to know my little friend is still choosing to live with us.

It’s nice to know that when we ask, it is given. We just need to remember to ask.

Blessings!phoenix II

Tales of Lake Superior Retreat 09, vol I

Wednesday, September 2nd, 2009

I never would have seen this sunrise if not for an aspen tree and a crow.

I was up at Superior Shores Resort for the Level IV retreat in August. I love to get up early to see the sunrise so I make a point of setting the clock just in case I don’t wake up early enough. I didn’t know how to set the clock so I set it wrong and it didn’t go off.

The lake had been calm when we arrived on Sunday. So Monday morning when I heard a “whoosh-whoosh” I thought “the lake has awoken!”. It wasn’t the lake I learned later but the sweet quaking aspen outside my window. img_2790
My shutters to my room were closed so I couldn’t see outside. Soon I heard “caw-caw caw-caw-caw-caw!” and it went on and on so I said to myself, ok, I think it must be near dawn and the clock didn’t go off. I opened the shutter to see a crow in the tree across the way bobbing wildly up and down and shaking at me as if to say “The sun is coming up now, hurry, hurry, you’ll miss it!”talking-crow
I said out loud “ok, I’m up, I’ll be right out” with that he shook off and bobbed a few more times then flew off.

I went out to see this!img_2554img_2559img_2589img_2595
And a fellow “retreater” practicing on the shore.

It was a beautiful morning and I thank the aspen and the crow for their help to awaken me so I could enjoy it!

A Surprise!

Thursday, August 13th, 2009

As I drove into the parking lot of my healing office last night, I was greeted to a wondrous sight. Flying low and in a beautiful spiral were about 12 gulls. Now, my office is not near water. There have never been gulls there before. But, gulls have very special meaning to me. They represent an opening to go beyond what I think is possible.

I was once drawn to read Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach. It was one of those books that came to my mind and then would not leave until I bought it. This was after I was mesmerized by many seagulls at the North Shore of Lake Superior and again when I visited the ocean. gullwater2
In fact, many places I’ve gone to and have had enlightening experiences have had seagulls there to greet me.

The book is about a young gull that goes way beyond what other gulls have done, first by flying fast and then in other ways. The book is for “people who know there’s more to this living than meets the eye”. (Check out this video, it’s beautiful and inspired by the book.

So when I saw this flock of gulls circling right in front of the door of my office I smiled, inside and outside. I’m going to the Spring Forest Qigong Level IV Retreat this weekend and I know it will to be a wonderful experience and I will spread my wings and fly a little higher!

All One, the lesson of the Eagle and Crow

Sunday, August 2nd, 2009

I went for a walk this week. It was my usual walk, down to a nearby lake. I usually walk up to one of the side ponds and turn around but that day I wanted to go further.

I understood why in a few seconds. I looked up and there was a beautiful bald eagle. He just sat there in the tree about 25 feet from me. I felt that familiar shiver run over my body and smiled at the sight of him. I continued to walk forward slowly and he shuffled back and forth on his perch. It was as if he was thinking, “she looks harmless enough but I really should fly”. He finally looked back at me one more time and shuffled again and took off. Of course, that was a beautiful sight too!

There was a car behind me that I was unaware of. He pulled up to me and said “Did you see that?!” I said “yes”. He said “they are so beautiful, a day with an eagle in it is a good day!” I agreed and he went on his way. I noticed he had a license plate that suggested he may be disabled. I decided to send some energy his way using qigong as he drove away.

I walked up to the next pond area and turned around. As I walked back to the same tree I noticed something I could not have seen on the other side of the tree. It was a young raven or large baby crow. It seemed a bit young to be on it’s own. He was shiny and black and beautiful, but seemed a bit weak.
I sent a little loving energy to the bird. In my mind I heard a small voice giving me a message. I had received this message once before: “no more, no less”.

The eagle is no more than the raven nor is the raven more than the eagle. It is our judgment that tries to make one creature or person or thing more important than another. Yes, they may carry different shapes and energy signatures and different messages, but essentially they are both wonderful and one is not better or more desirable than the other.

I smiled and felt that inner peace that comes when an important message is received from my heart. It’s so true and it’s so beautiful!

We can use this message to help us understand that everything is equal, no more, no less, all one. When we know this we feel better about ourselves and the whole world!

note: the pictures in this post are not that eagle and that raven on that day but they are pictures that I’ve taken in the past.

The quest!

Saturday, July 18th, 2009

Where did it go
What did I do
Why can’t I find
What I want to?

It was just there
A while ago
But where it is now
I just don’t know.

Did I put it away
In a safe place
And now it’s safe
But completely misplaced?

Or was it thrown
Somewhere in haste
And now to find it
Much time I’ll waste?

I’d have more time
To laugh and play
If I was in the moment
When I put it away!

A day on the river and a blockage!

Thursday, July 16th, 2009

Last weekend we went to one of my favorite places. Rich and I regularly go kayaking on the St. Croix river. We get on the river at Sunrise Landing and then kayak all day down to the Wild River State Park. It’s pretty much an all day trip since we stop on islands and travel little streams if they are open.

We were at the mouth of an adjoining river when we grounded our kayaks and had to walk. The river is low because it’s been dry this summer so far. The adjoining river was pouring cold water into the St. Croix. Since the water is low there was a backflow of water so new sand was quickly being accumulating in the waters new path.

The first time I sank into the ‘quicksand’ I went down to my calf and quickly got out and continued walking. The second time I sank to my upper thigh. You see, the water lays down the sand so quickly that it isn’t packed so the water and sand are in sort of a suspension. What appears to be solid sand is like a slurry of sand and water and is not solid at all. It’s always a surprise!

I couldn’t get myself out right away since I couldn’t push very easily on the surrounding sand. I needed Rich to hold my kayak and I had to wait until he carefully walked near me, without sinking too much. When I tried to get out I found that the sand had a solid hold on my leg. I pulled and pulled and it took quite a lot to get it out. I realized that the longer I stayed in position the harder the sand packed around my leg.

This reminded me of energy blockages. The energy gets out of balance and is much like the sand and water slurry, you may suddenly sink and get stuck. The longer you stay stuck, the stronger the blockage becomes packed around you and the more effort it may take to pull yourself out of it. If you can get up and out right away it’s pretty easy to just move on. Of course, you can always break up the blockage but it’s easiest not to stay stuck too long!